Courage, dear heart

The sky was orange when I started writing this. Orange, and pink and purple, and blue. Light, light blue. Every afternoon, the colours reinvent themselves in the sky. I will miss how the absence of mountains makes the sky look wider here. 

I'm writing in english, because it's the only way they'll understand. I've tried, but spanish is still not fluent in them. Maybe, some day. Some words they will know for sure. For now, we'll use english. Because I want them to know. Just this once.

And you know? I've always wondered if people really understood how significant they are in my life. How everyone stretchens my heart, a bit, for a while. If they understand that it hurts, everytime. But it's ok, because then I have so much more space for love. Even when they are not there anymore, the space they left, it's there. It's marked. And that space will be forever used to search for enough reasons to bring the sun out every morning. 

And you know what else? What I have learned? That I should be proud. For this pain, for this joy. That even though they are not related, they are both important. That you have to be proud of what you feel, and if you wear your smile like a prize, you should never hide your tears either.

That's what makes you strong: embracing your feelings. 

Days are getting longer and longer, the sun rising before it even has time to set. Somehow, it feels that these scarce hours of night are darker than usual; and I've fallen in love with the silence you hear during the light of night. The sun out, but everyone still sleeping.

And it has been during these first beams of the sun where I have realised. Every morning, when I wake up.

If they'd let me, I'd choose my life, over and over and over again. 

There's no other place I'd rather be. No other people. No other feelings. No other skin. 

I love. No more needed. 

Ana 'Uala'